Why February Matters for Teen Relationships
- Melanie Pacheco, LSW
- Feb 10
- 3 min read
Valentine's Day isn't the only significant day this month. Why does February Matter for Teen Relationships? February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.
In a previous post, we talked about "Breaking the Trance"—how easy it is for teens to get lost in the "Upside Down" of an unhealthy relationship. We looked at how isolation and silence can make a person feel like they’re fighting a monster alone. So now we wanted to dive deeper into a very important reality.
February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM)
While a sci-fi show, like Stranger Things, can help us visualize the feeling of a toxic dynamic, the statistics for real-life teens are sobering.
About 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. will experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from someone they are in a relationship with before they even turn 18.
Because February is dedicated to awareness, it’s the perfect time to talk about what "dating violence" actually looks like in 2026—and how we can help the teens in our lives navigate it.
It’s Not Always What You Think
When people hear the word "violence," they often think of physical harm. But in the world of modern dating, the most common forms of harm are often invisible. They are the "silent monsters" that thrive on control and digital access.
This TDVAM, we want to focus on educating teens about the full spectrum of unhealthy behavior, including:
Digital Abuse: Demanding passwords, constant location tracking, or "checking in" so often it feels like surveillance.
Emotional Coercion: Using guilt to cross sexual boundaries or threatening self-harm if a partner tries to break up.
Isolation: Gradually pulling a partner away from their friends and family until the relationship is their entire world.
One of the biggest hurdles to awareness is the belief that dating violence only happens "somewhere else"—to other families, in other neighborhoods, or to "troubled" kids. Parents often think, “I raised my child to be strong; they’d never let someone treat them that way,” or someone could think, “I’m too smart to be in an abusive relationship.” The reality is that dating violence doesn't discriminate based on grades, athletic status, or home life. It can happen to the straight-A student, the star athlete, and the teen from the most loving home. When we assume it could never be us, we inadvertently create an environment where a teen might feel too ashamed to speak up if things do go wrong, fearing they’ve somehow failed or "know better." Recognizing that everyone is vulnerable is the first step in staying protected.
Why Awareness is the First Step to Safety
The "trance" we discussed previously happens because unhealthy behaviors often start small. They can even look like intensity or passion at first, especially if someone is only just beginning to date. Having worked with teens, I’ve often heard things, such as: “They just want to know where I am all the time because they care about me.” “He doesn’t want other guys looking at me if I wear too short of a skirt.” “She doesn’t want me to spend time with my friends because she wants to spend time with me.
By dedicating the month of February to awareness, we are giving teens the vocabulary they need to identify these behaviors before they escalate.
Awareness isn't just about spotting Red Flags; it’s about championing the Green Flags:
Consent: Not just in physical intimacy, but in every aspect of the relationship.
Independence: Encouraging each other to have separate hobbies and friend groups.
Respect: The ability to disagree without fear of retaliation.
How to Get Involved This February
You don’t have to be a therapist to make a difference. This month, we encourage parents, educators, and teens to do three things:
Start the Conversation: Use TDVAM as an "excuse" to talk. Ask the teens in your life: "What does a 'healthy' relationship look like to you?"
Wear Orange: Orange is the official color of TDVAM. Wearing it (especially on "Wear Orange Day" - February 10th!) is a simple way to show teens that you are a safe person to talk to.
Know the Resources: Ensure they know about lifelines like Love is Respect (Text "LOVEIS" to 22522) or Reimagined Mind’s Healthy Relationship group for Teens - SIGNALS - where they can get confidential support.
Join the Lifeline: SIGNALS: We created SIGNALS: A Healthy Relationships Group specifically to address these issues.
In honor of Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, we are opening up new spots for our virtual 8-week program. We dive deep into setting boundaries, identifying "digital" red flags, and building the self-esteem necessary to walk away from a relationship that doesn't feel right.
Don't let your teen navigate the "Upside Down" of dating alone. Let’s use this February to shine a light on what they deserve: a relationship built on safety, respect, and real connection.
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