Author: Emily Ryan
I have been writing this blog post for several weeks. Before I even started writing, it was a tiny seed of mere consideration in my head. The path this post took to get to your eyes was a fragmented one. I would start typing a few thoughts but then my dog would come sit in my lap for a cuddle. Or my friends would text me. Or I needed to get dinner started. Or the load of the laundry I started needed to be switched to the dryer. I can’t help but wonder if you also fall victim to the same thing when trying to accomplish something.
Life is messy. Unpredictable. Fun. Exhausting.
Those are all the same reasons that it can be SO hard to stay committed to ourselves when we set out to accomplish something.
Readers, I want to sit with you for a moment to offer some simple information about the psychology of change. Perhaps, it will provide some of you with the tools to make your next change more successful. For others, perhaps it will offer you some evidence for why you have been struggling to see any results. For all of you, I hope that, at the very least, you find grace for yourselves as you walk your road of change.
We often find ourselves a few weeks (or months, if we are lucky) into creating a new habit before those pesky, intrusive thoughts threaten to stall our progress.
“If I just take today off, I will get back at it tomorrow…”
“I have so many things to do today, I just don’t have the time to focus on this…”
It’s a normal part of the change process to have these thoughts, stalemates, and dilemmas. Not every day of change is going to look or feel great. Our brains are geared to seek what feels good.
What if I offered to give you the sure fire recipe for long term success?
It consists of only three ingredients.
You need to have the confidence you can make the change
The change needs to be important to you
The change needs to be a priority to you
Frequently, clients will ask about the difference between importance and priority. At first glance, they appear very similar. If something’s important, it's going to be a priority, too, right? Not necessarily.
Importance indicates that the change is of value to you.
A change can be very important but you might not always make it a priority. Or, you might not always be able to make it a priority. Family duties, financial strain, work obligations- they can all run interference.
Easy peasy, right?
If it was easy, we would all be walking around champions of change.
Small or big, short term or long term, if you want support making your next change reach out to us to get started!
References:
Miller, W.R. & Rollnick, S. (2013) Motivational Interviewing: Helping people to change (3rd Edition). Guilford Press.